Watch your coconut and My stingy 5-yr-old

First, I wanted to mention that I’m going to try to post more often.  I’m happy to see that (miraculously) my blog is getting a steady number of views, so the plan is to post 3 or 4 times a week rather than twice a week.  We’ll see how it goes (meaning that I hope to be able to keep my eyes open after everyone’s gone to bed in our house so I can have quiet time to write.)

Anyway…

A beautiful tween boy was riding his bike today, as I drove home from Trader Joe’s with Madeleine.  He wasn’t looking straight ahead as his eyes were affixed to his cell phone and…gasp…there was no helmet on that Abercrombie-and-Fitch-looking head!  How much more do I need to say?  I had an urge to roll down the window and beckon him over with my index finger.  Although, with his eyes on his phone, texting away, he wouldn’t have noticed me.  I could have shouted, “Excuse me!  Are you hoping for a concussion today?”  Or perhaps, “Head up, young person!”, for those of you who have seen the mediocre 1998 film starring Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd, The Object of My Affection.  I do like Paul Rudd, even though some of his movies are lame.

A brilliant idea did come out of that moment, though.  I think kids should have a barcode on the back of their necks and us moms would all have scanners so that when one of them was doing something dangerous or rotten we could scan them and then you’d get their mom’s (or dad’s) cell number.  Brilliant, huh?  Kinda creepy, too.  Forget that idea.

On a less neurotic note, Luke caught me using his sippy cup this morning…

“Why are you using my cup?”  Luke asked.

“Because I can’t find the top to my travel mug,”

“You’re sliming it!”

Sliming it?  I’m just borrowing it,”

Luke furrowed his brow.

“Listen, Buddy, I let you borrow my uterus for 9 months so I’m borrowing your cup today.”

Uterus?” he repeated.

Madeleine laughed, “Uda-ass!  Uda-ass!”

“Is that like your butt?” Luke asked.

“Uh, no.  It’s not like my butt.  More like a special spot in my belly for holding stuff.  That’s where you grew when you were in my belly.  Remember?”

“No.  I want my cup.”

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This entry was published on July 17, 2012 at 4:39 pm. It’s filed under Kids and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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