For better or worse, will you rub my feet?

He thinks I’m controlling.  I think he’s a moody pain in the…dum, dee, dum, dum….where was I going with this?

I’ve often wondered where couples go wrong.  Where’s the turning point of no return?  In a happy marriage, there will be lots of disagreements.  Should we be honest here?  Let’s call them what they are – fights.   It’s healthy and normal and without conflict you are unable to learn about eachother, and yourself.

Sometimes when we argue I can’t imagine calming down enough to hear him, let alone forgive him or compromise that perhaps it was my fault, too.  But always, we’re civilized and kind.  No name-calling, no Jerry Springer-esque outbursts.  I guess we’re just not theatrical.

Somehow, in this happy marriage of ours, a resolution always materializes.  Tonight it came in the form of a foot rub.  After a day and a half of being irritated by eachother for various reasons, we were sitting on the couch watching a movie and, as is the norm, I had my feet on my husband’s lap.  If he’d asked me, I would have said No, thank you.  I do not want anything rubbed by you right now.  I didn’t move, though.

Eventually I began to relax, tension dispersing slowly, and I felt less and less like duking it out and more like watching the movie and laughing and figuring out a way to express my feelings in an olive branch sort of way.

They say when a little kid has a tantrum that he’ll calm down if you hug him firmly.  Don’t suffocate the kid, just hug him.  The theory is that the closeness – whether through scent or body heat or whatever the heck it is – allows the child to relax and ditch the tantrum.

Was it the same here?  Are my feet the secret to lulling myself into zen-like compromise with my husband?

I’m not sure, but I do like when he rubs my feet.

What do you argue about?  Is anyone getting a foot rub out of the deal?

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This entry was published on October 22, 2012 at 2:41 am. It’s filed under relationships and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

2 thoughts on “For better or worse, will you rub my feet?

  1. I love your blog for many reasons, and today I am adding “timing” to that list. I have just finished an “argument” with hubby through Instant Messaging at work (we are so hi tech 🙂 ) . I am angry, i feel “jerry-springer-esque”, I don’t want a foot rub !!!!
    We are arguing about our perception on each other’s discipline, bottom line : I am the bad cop who always says no, and he is the good cop who always gives in. So this morning while I was feeding our 16 month old toddler breakfast he was lecturing me on what to do to stop him from his tantrum because there were strawberry bits in his porridge.
    Lecturing me, ME?! am i feeding him poison, nails, ground glass?

    Anyway, I am angry but I really enjoy your blog

    • Thank you for the compliment! I’m always encouraged when a reader takes a moment to let me know how I’m doing here.
      It amazes me that peoples’ lives are so very similar, even when separated by an ocean. By the way, I can say for sure that heads would roll if I found that my little ones had been riding in the front seat. How brave of your husband to tell you. Why do dads get to have more fun?!

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