I’ll just go ahead and say it. I’ve realized that I have rabbit teeth.
What are your feelings on Invisalign?
My sister, Ashley, took a short video on my phone as we sang “Happy Birthday” to Madeleine last weekend. I love the video. Great memory of my daughter’s 3rd birthday. However…afterward I could not stop looking at how I looked in the video. My teeth appear mostly straight from the front, but if you look at me at an angle I definitely look a touch lagomorphic.
What has happened to my brain now that I’m 34?
Things like this didn’t phase me as a kid. I was a little chunky until high school. On Halloween, when I was about 12 or 13, I wore a red genie costume that showed my belly. I thought I looked stunning in that getup. When I walked home from school that day with my best friend, an older kid from school rode by on his bike and shouted at me, “You look like you’re on Weight Watchers!” I shrugged it off. I think about that day sometimes and still I find it amusing that he’d rather heckle passersby than go trick-or-treating.
Another time, around the same age as the genie incident, I wore these purple parachute pants…Oh, the 90s.This kid named Brendan told me I looked like Grimace, from Mc Donald’s. I guess because they were purple pants and Grimace is purple. Are you with me here?
(At least, he didn’t say I looked like Hamburglar.) I laugh about it even now. Brendan was a funny guy, although not terribly nice, and the comparison was actually pretty reasonable.
So it’s kind of odd that now, after being teased as a kid and not letting it bother me, that I’ve begun cataloguing my imperfections. Am I expecting to live into my 90s as a smooth-faced, perky-boobed Christie Brinkley look-alike? Maaaybe. (Christie Brinkley still has it goin’ on.)
Maybe they’ll develop a vaccine for that. They have vaccines for every other damn thing.