You want me to do WHAT to my butt cheeks?

Imagine trying to sell a product to a man that promises to improve the look and feel of his ass.

Sounds like a waste of time, right?

While flipping through a magazine, when (ironically) I was waiting to get a bikini wax, I saw an ad for the bliss fatgirlslim lean machine.  This little contraption supposedly smooths out cellulite by… well, it’s pretty harsh.  Ready?  It sucks your skin up using two rollers and a vacuum.  They call it “massaging” but who are we kidding?  Maybe it does feel good (probably not), but who really has the time to vacuum their cellulite for the promise of smoother skin in 8 weeks?  Says the woman sitting in the spa waiting to have her pubic hair ripped out at the roots.

This got me to thinking of all the things women do to feel younger, luscious and more beautiful.  Waxing and cellulite vacuuming aside, we pluck our eyebrows (Is that passé?  Isn’t threading the new thing?), get facials (which I actually love!), and color our hair (I’d rather die than go around with my natural, mousey color!)  Some of us have even enlarged our breasts (Obviously not me.  Tween girls are more endowed than I am these days. Sigh.) and of course we have to hold it all in with Spanx or some other brand of suck-it-in undergarments.  Everything has to be perfectly smooth and flat.  But only in the right places.

Do we do it for men or for ourselves?  Both?  If Angelina Jolie went au naturale and then every other girl got on board with it, would that become the new, desirable norm?  Hmmm….

Sometimes I wonder how my grandmother ever got by.  (I think her feminine hygiene products were held up with garter belts.  Say it ain’t so!)   Did those gals born in the 20s just cruise through each decade feeling fab or did they long for something more – a little boost every now and then?

As much as I don’t want to admit it, though, I do like all that girly crap – the hair, mani-pedis, makeup.  I feel great when I look put together.  But the moments that I feel my best are when I take the last few strides of a run with sweat dripping off every part of my body, face red and panting like a dog.  After a great run I don’t need a fatgirlslim machine to firm up my derriere.  I just did it myself.

Advertisements
This entry was published on June 4, 2013 at 3:03 am. It’s filed under Life lessons, women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: