18 things I have to make peace with to maintain my sanity

1.  Dramatized vomiting sound effects

2.  Never getting out the door quickly because one or both someones inevitably will need to pee, blow his/her nose, poop and then be changed, or find a toy that is absolutely essential to bring wherever we’re going

3.  Bits of torn up tissues, napkins, paper towels or other paper product on the floor because I left my daughter unattended for 60 seconds

4.  Crumbs of all kinds on the sofa

5.  Crumbs of all kinds on the floor

6.  The trail of ants heading toward the crumbs on the floor

7.  Saliva marks on the walls because pretending to be a snail is the most fun ever

8.  The aroma of poop left in the toilet for hours without being flushed

9.  Plunging the toilet frequently because non-flush-friendly things have been “accidentally” dropped into it

10.  Rough-housing

11. Choke-holds

12.  Hair-pulling

13.  High-pitched, extremely grating screaming for reasons other than injury or needing immediate help

14.  Constant Angry Birds impersonations

15.  Door slamming and the momentary cringing while I wait to hear if someone’s hand is broken

16.  Chewed up food spit out onto the table, purely for entertainment

17.  Vomiting due to not liking the way a new food tastes, smells or feels in someone’s mouth

18.  Hearing the word “butthole” all day long

This entry was published on June 20, 2013 at 6:46 pm. It’s filed under Family, Kids and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “18 things I have to make peace with to maintain my sanity

  1. Hilarious! Sorry, these are probably pretty serious sanity-testing situations, but the way you put them across was entertaining… I’m sure I won’t be laughing so hard when I have kids of my own…Thanks for the advance warning though 😉

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