Maybe this time I can do it without screaming my bloody brains out


I want another baby.  There, I said it!  Sometimes it’s feels good to just blurt things out.

The problem here is (How can a bundle of joy be considered a problem??) that I have two kids already.  So, I know.  I know.  The mystique, the great unknown of bringing new life into this world is familiar to me.  Expert?  No.  Does a third time around make it unexciting?  Of course not.  But if my two little darlings can send me into a tailspin on a good day, then a third  would do what?  I’m afraid to find out.

My husband is, too.  Lately, every month I think I’m brave enough to take the prenatal plunge, I can see fear in his eyes.  And he’s all Get away from me, woman.  He doesn’t say it, but I can tell it’s swirling around in his head.

Let’s break the scary stuff down categorically…

AS NATURE INTENDED – Pregnancy (ick), labor and birth (ouch), sleepless nights (and the exhaustion of the juggling act of our two older kids’ established lives and the activities that go along with them).  Uncomfortable, painful, tired.  Those 3 adjectives alone make this so exciting!


As beautiful as Jessica looks here, I can pretty much guarantee that she felt like a freaking whale when this pic was shot.

GROWN-UP ALONE TIME – Our kids now have their bedtime routines down and we can usually be alone by around 8:30pm every night.  And it’s great.  Do their little feet shuffle through the house at 2am sometimes, in search of the mothership (our bed)?  Sure, but things have gotten way easier since we have an almost 6-year-old and a 3 year-old.  An infant would …how can I say this gently…BLOW IT ALL UP!


Pregnant? This is what I look like when I eat too many carbs at lunch.

MONEY – Let’s shoot forward a bit.  Kids get older, right?  I remember shopping at the mall with Michael back in those simple, devil-may-care days of pre-pre-pre-parenthood when my skirts were much shorter and my wallet much fatter.  We were in a shoe store and in walks this family of five.  I marveled at how much they had to buy these kids!  I thought, When do the parents get to shop for themselves?  Can they afford real food or do they sustain themselves on pb&j because they spent their last buck on clothing these kids?

It’s a lot to take in at once.  Money is definitely a factor.  Let’s not even talk about college tuition.  Sweet 16s?  Weddings?  Grandkids?  Ok, I’m getting ahead of myself.  All I’m saying is that if we have 3 kids and each kid has 3 kids of their own then that’s 9 grandkids to spoil.  I guess retirement will come eventually.  I believe they call it death.

I’m one of 3 siblings and so is my husband.  Neither one of us grew up with extravagance.  We had enough and not much more.  There is certainly nothing wrong with that.  I think it’s beneficial, actually.  It teaches you to be frugal (sensible), not wasteful, patient (Is it my turn in the bathroom yet?) and unmaterialistic.  It doesn’t stop you from wanting things, but it puts life somewhat into perspective.

GIRL’S GOTTA LOOK GOOD – Weight gain, stretch marks, hemorrhoids, and…uhem…have you ever heard of the saying ‘Throwing a hotdog down a hallway’?  Gross as it may be to actually blog about, it’s a reasonable concern and I always do my best to be straight with you guys about what rolls around in my brain, even if it’s a little embarrassing.  The truth is that nothing happens to a man’s body during pregnancy (unless he gains a few sympathy pounds) and it’s up to the woman to be able to deal with her changing physique and the work of getting back to how she was before – or better, ideally.  It’s a tall order!  And let’s add kegels to the list because you know you’ll need them.


Heidi, I love ya but you are without a doubt an alien from another planet. Sorry to tell you, you gorgeous freak of nature, you.

THE SEX-LESS THIRD TRI – Somewhere around the third trimester my husband gets creeped out.  Maybe it’s the big belly, maybe it’s the wriggly life inside it, but he does not want to touch me.  And along with the extra shot of hormones, overall feeling of giganticism and unattractiveness and, oh yes, constant physical discomfort, rejection from my husband has resulted in a full-fledged crying fest.  It was not pretty.  In fact, I’m sure he’s now scared of that happening again more than the actual new baby.

 I’m a person who likes to research my choices before making one.  Overly spontaneous and exhilarating, I know.  But even with all these intimidating facts before me, I still want another child.  It’s the vision I’ve had of my family from the very beginning.  Hopefully it’s in the cards for us.  If not, my daughter will be so happy when I tell her we’re getting a dog.

This entry was published on June 25, 2013 at 8:21 pm. It’s filed under Family, Kids, relationships, women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “Maybe this time I can do it without screaming my bloody brains out

  1. For about the first 2 1/2 years after the birth of our second, my wife wanted another. I think primarily because she wanted a girl. If gender could have been guaranteed, I think she would have insisted. But just the thought of another kid sends my mind into a tailspin, not because the two we have are particularly trying, it’s just that, for many of the reasons you outlined above, the late stages of pregnancy and early stages of infancy are, well, shitty. And the cost is an issue. And then there’s the consideration – do I really want to burden the overpopulated planet with one more mouth? I know it’s just one more, one tiny little more, but still. I’ll be interested to see how this all plays out. I’d be willing to wager on my guess, but not willing to share my guess, so the point is moot.

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