I want another baby. There, I said it! Sometimes it’s feels good to just blurt things out.
The problem here is (How can a bundle of joy be considered a problem??) that I have two kids already. So, I know. I know. The mystique, the great unknown of bringing new life into this world is familiar to me. Expert? No. Does a third time around make it unexciting? Of course not. But if my two little darlings can send me into a tailspin on a good day, then a third would do what? I’m afraid to find out.
My husband is, too. Lately, every month I think I’m brave enough to take the prenatal plunge, I can see fear in his eyes. And he’s all Get away from me, woman. He doesn’t say it, but I can tell it’s swirling around in his head.
Let’s break the scary stuff down categorically…
AS NATURE INTENDED – Pregnancy (ick), labor and birth (ouch), sleepless nights (and the exhaustion of the juggling act of our two older kids’ established lives and the activities that go along with them). Uncomfortable, painful, tired. Those 3 adjectives alone make this so exciting!
GROWN-UP ALONE TIME – Our kids now have their bedtime routines down and we can usually be alone by around 8:30pm every night. And it’s great. Do their little feet shuffle through the house at 2am sometimes, in search of the mothership (our bed)? Sure, but things have gotten way easier since we have an almost 6-year-old and a 3 year-old. An infant would …how can I say this gently…BLOW IT ALL UP!
MONEY – Let’s shoot forward a bit. Kids get older, right? I remember shopping at the mall with Michael back in those simple, devil-may-care days of pre-pre-pre-parenthood when my skirts were much shorter and my wallet much fatter. We were in a shoe store and in walks this family of five. I marveled at how much they had to buy these kids! I thought, When do the parents get to shop for themselves? Can they afford real food or do they sustain themselves on pb&j because they spent their last buck on clothing these kids?
It’s a lot to take in at once. Money is definitely a factor. Let’s not even talk about college tuition. Sweet 16s? Weddings? Grandkids? Ok, I’m getting ahead of myself. All I’m saying is that if we have 3 kids and each kid has 3 kids of their own then that’s 9 grandkids to spoil. I guess retirement will come eventually. I believe they call it death.
I’m one of 3 siblings and so is my husband. Neither one of us grew up with extravagance. We had enough and not much more. There is certainly nothing wrong with that. I think it’s beneficial, actually. It teaches you to be frugal (sensible), not wasteful, patient (Is it my turn in the bathroom yet?) and unmaterialistic. It doesn’t stop you from wanting things, but it puts life somewhat into perspective.
GIRL’S GOTTA LOOK GOOD – Weight gain, stretch marks, hemorrhoids, and…uhem…have you ever heard of the saying ‘Throwing a hotdog down a hallway’? Gross as it may be to actually blog about, it’s a reasonable concern and I always do my best to be straight with you guys about what rolls around in my brain, even if it’s a little embarrassing. The truth is that nothing happens to a man’s body during pregnancy (unless he gains a few sympathy pounds) and it’s up to the woman to be able to deal with her changing physique and the work of getting back to how she was before – or better, ideally. It’s a tall order! And let’s add kegels to the list because you know you’ll need them.
THE SEX-LESS THIRD TRI – Somewhere around the third trimester my husband gets creeped out. Maybe it’s the big belly, maybe it’s the wriggly life inside it, but he does not want to touch me. And along with the extra shot of hormones, overall feeling of giganticism and unattractiveness and, oh yes, constant physical discomfort, rejection from my husband has resulted in a full-fledged crying fest. It was not pretty. In fact, I’m sure he’s now scared of that happening again more than the actual new baby.
I’m a person who likes to research my choices before making one. Overly spontaneous and exhilarating, I know. But even with all these intimidating facts before me, I still want another child. It’s the vision I’ve had of my family from the very beginning. Hopefully it’s in the cards for us. If not, my daughter will be so happy when I tell her we’re getting a dog.