Mortification by Parental Guidance

I’ve been following the web series Fatherhood, as I’ve mentioned.  This week Episode 7 discusses “the birds and the bees”.

Did you ever get “the talk” from your parents?

I grew up with two sisters so my dad right away felt out-numbered by all the estrogen, I’m sure.  He never gave us the talk.

That would’ve been baffling.

My mom is a registered nurse.  She’s seen the worst in terms of all the bad things that can happen to a person’s health.  Her first order of business – while never actually sitting us down to talk about “relations” (her word, not mine) – was to scare the crap out of us when it came to boys.

I didn’t kiss a boy until I was 13 because I thought I’d get herpes.

There was never a discussion about pregnancy or STDs.  In school, the health teacher handed out pamphlets and took out her visual aids.  I was completely grossed out by the human body and couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be naked with a guy.

Thankfully my mom never expanded on what we learned at school. I just sort of knew what not to do – Have sex!

american pie

I’m not sure this is the best approach, especially considering that kids today are becoming sexually active so much earlier.  They need to be informed, don’t they?  And a little fear isn’t a bad thing, either.

I was a late bloomer.  I hadn’t met anyone I’d consider sleeping with until after high school, and even then I wasn’t rushing.  It would happen when the time came and Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  the time finally came.  It’s a whole new, amazing world once you experience sex but I don’t think I would’ve been ready for it sooner than my first time.



Have you had the sex talk with your kids?  If your kids are still little, what are planning to do – if you’ve even thought about it?

I’d like my kids to grow up knowing that it’s not a competition and there’s no score card.  No belt notches to worry about.  And that if it doesn’t feel right with whoever you’re with then you shouldn’t do it.  Respecting your partner is a huge deal and I hope my husband conveys that to our boy.  (Michael, are you reading this?  I hope you’ve been preparing, Honey!)

I’m sure after giving them the details of what sex is and how babies are made (and most importantly how to protect themselves from cooties) I’ll say something like, Wait for the right person.  It’s worth it.  After which they’ll probably run away or avoid eye contact with me for the next few years.

Parenthood just keeps throwing challenges our way, doesn’t it?

This entry was published on February 20, 2014 at 8:18 pm. It’s filed under chitchat, Life lessons, relationships, Sex and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

4 thoughts on “Mortification by Parental Guidance

  1. I think there are 2 very different components in teaching your children about sex. The first is the question of how are babies made which I think can be answered in a more clinical kind of conversation answering appropriating for the age of the child. The second is more complicated, when is it okay to have sex. This is a much more difficult conversation to have, both for the child & the parent. I would suggest that when your child shows an interest in the opposite sex is the right time to start a dialogue. The more you talk about it, the less awkward it becomes. Sticking your head in the sand & thinking your kids are immune to sex is definitely not an option!

    • Thanks for responding, Lynn! It amazes me that I’m so open about sex given that it wasn’t something that was discussed during my childhood. My fear is that my kids will go the opposite direction (than I did as a teen) and think sex is something appropriate for that age. There are so many STDs out there!!! That scares me the most. How does a parent tell another human being when they’re ready for sex? I guess you can only teach them what you know and how you feel and hope for the best.

      • I think it is more difficult for us as parents to get our head around “when” our kids are “ready”. I can only say that it is so important to keep talking, even if you feel they aren’t listening…they are;) Sometimes using a situation on a tv program or if your kids share a story about a “friend” are good opportunities to start a conversation. Asking your kids, What would they do in that situation or suggest that here would be some of the concerns you would have for that person etc. If I learned anything from going through those years with my kids, it was that if you “react”, they stop talking. If they know that they come to you & chat about pretty much anything without you going all ballistic, it gives both of you insight into many things going on with them & their friends. The fact that you are open is key!

      • That was pretty much as perfect as advice can get. Thanks! I’ll put that into practice.

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