There’s a sweet spot between the time your kids are infants, fussing and crying when the wind changes direction, and the age when they become aware of what it is that you and your partner do after you put them to bed. By age 4ish their skills of observation become keener. They stay quiet enough to listen from their beds. They ask more detailed questions. (Just this morning, my son asked how a rooster goes about fertilizing an egg.)
We are currently experiencing the decline of the sweet spot and I’m not sure what to do about it. I’m talking about sex, here. You guys caught that, right?
Gone are the days when we could read them a story or three, watch them slip into dreamland and slink into our bedroom. Gone. Gone. Gone. Now we either have to do it late at night (too tired) or very early in the morning (too tired and I haven’t brushed my teeth yet). Once, we attempted (and failed) to be risqué in the morning and tossed the little lovelies some dry cereal and a couple of juice boxes, quickly turning on Disney Jr. before closing our bedroom door and locking it as quietly as humanly possible.
I challenge you to maintain arousal while one kid repeatedly knocks on the door declaring, “Let me in!” while the other one perfectly and loudly emulates Thomas the Tank Engine. “Peep! Peep! Toot! Toot! Allllll aboard!”
It can’t be done.
I’d love to hear what your stealth tactics are for keeping everyone’s needs met. Don’t leave a girl hanging. In a car? In an elevator? I’m just brainstorming, here.
On a G-rated note, Easter is this Sunday. I’m looking forward to dying eggs with the kids. I bought the tie-dye egg kit and the glitter kit and I can’t wait to hear my husband complain about how we can never get all the glitter out from between the floor boards.
Hope you enjoy this short list of links…
- I don’t usually watch odd videos but this one made me laugh
- As if turning 35 last week didn’t make me feel old enough, this helped nudge me ever closer toward a pre-midlife crisis
- This cake looks delicious and would make a great addition to your holiday table
- Smiling in the rain