If not for my breasts we’d go without bread

I have a multigrain baguette pinned between my arm and my boob as I reach for Madeleine’s hand, then Luke’s.  And a loaf of sourdough.  Who knew a boob could substitute for a hand?

We’re walking through the parking lot.  I guess I should be excited.  It appears that I’ve been granted the super power of invisibility.  At least that’s what it seems like since my kids are not listening to me at all as I order them to walk instead of run and speak nicely instead of shrieking about anything that runs through their minds.

I’ve just endured what was supposed to be a brief trip to the grocery store to grab some ingredients so I can assemble something that resembles dinner.  Walnut pesto on toasted bread, stuffed mushrooms and a salad.  I’ve solved one problem.  The other problem – beside my unpleasant children – was that there wasn’t a loaf of bread to be found in the entire store.  Wonder Bread is not what I had in mind.  God forbid we have a bakery in the neighborhood that actually bakes bread, the real kind.  Out of desperation we left the store and headed nextdoor to Panera.

We are parents who value obedience and respectfulness when it comes to how we raise our kids.  But you sure as hell wouldn’t know it by the way they behave sometimes.  In Panera , they screamed (gleefully) and chased eachother and took turns knocking over the tall, yellow cone that says CAUTION: WET FLOOR.

Does this happen to other parents?  Where do these fits of insanity come from?  They’d each scored a free cookie at the grocery store bakery.  Can I blame it on a sugar rush?  From one cookie?

Nearing the car, Luke catches me looking at him and grins a big, wide smile.  Is it the way the late afternoon sun is hitting his face, lighting it up and making his eyes glow?  I can’t not smile and he knows he’s won this round.  He’s a beautiful kid.  A total pest and master of ball-busting, but I love him even when I want to wring his scrawny neck.  And the other one, with the purple princess dress and sparkly tiara she wears every moment of the day except in the bathtub. She’s pretty cute, too.


This entry was published on June 19, 2014 at 8:56 pm. It’s filed under chitchat, Kids, parenting and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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